Adult Entertainment

By Tammy L. Dahl

The cost of the table dance you're selling - $10.00
The cost of the seductive dress you're wearing - $150.00
The cost of your heart - Priceless.

What a profound perspective!

When I first pondered the thought of becoming an adult entertainer, I looked at the outside things to evaluate my choice. I'd be making more money than I knew what to do with. I'd have power and prestige. I would get to dress like a princess and be treated like a princess by the patrons who would want me. What an incredible deception.

The truth is, I didn't evaluate the price of my heart and how this industry would change my life forever. Oh how I understand the biblical truth about Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, and how they ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God so didn't want them to lose their innocence by gaining knowledge of anything else other than what He said about them, His creation. He didn't want their minds polluted with deception. Their minds were perfect and whole until they ate of that tree. Now, my mind was far from perfect and whole before I made the choice of working in the adult entertainment industry. In fact, at that time I thought it couldn't get much worse. The adult entertainment industry was my ticket to financial freedom. It's amazing what one does for financial freedom and to have everything one could want materially. The world paints "financial freedom" as security, happiness, and wholeness. However, only God, through His Son Jesus Christ can give us that. It is only God that can speak to us from the inside out! People and things can only speak to us from the outside in, and those things are only temporal and quickly fade into distant memories.

The adult entertainment industry was far from what I had envisioned for my life. I saw women, including myself, degraded and exploited for money. Not only did I exploit myself for money, but I allowed myself to be used by men as an object of their addiction. The degradation one experiences in this industry would blow your mind. What is really mind-blowing is how I chose this as a career path momentarily, only to find myself in a deeper emotional pit thinking I was worthless and without purpose. Far from the princess picture I had envisioned. In fact, the truth be told, this princess in this fairy tale was broken, abused, and didn't want to live. Even Cinderella, though discouraged in life before she went to the ball, still found happiness in the little things. I was so broken, beyond repair.

Instead of the adult entertainment industry giving me freedom, it became a prison. A prison I, myself, chose. Instead of power and prestige, I was powerless and exploited. Instead of experiencing a happily-ever-after fairy tale, I was depressed, lonely, and no longer wanted to live. All I had was a garter full of money and a heart full of rage, anger and bitterness. My already warped and perverted mind, due to rape and abuse in my childhood, was even more warped and perverted because of the things I witnessed and experienced. For example, the club I worked in was paid ten thousand dollars from one of my clients to close off an entire section of the club so I could perform and participate in illegal sexual activities with other women. I was used and I allowed it, simply because I would walk home with nearly two thousand dollars in one evening. I had another client who was a minister, yes a minister, that told me that God created my body, so I should use it to bless others by its beauty in stripping for them. As a result, I experienced an even more distorted view of God than what I already had. One man that used to frequent the club used to ask me to put my hair up in pig-tails to look even younger than I did and then he ask me to use the bondage paraphernalia while I danced on stage for him. He provided me with a big tip every time, meanwhile I not only allowed myself to be used, but my actions encouraged this man in his sickness with child pornography and pedophilia. Another client became my sugar daddy. He paid me thousands of dollars a month to travel with him to Miami and stay at a world-renowned hotel. Meanwhile he had a wife and young son at home waiting for him. As a result, I mistrusted any man I was in a relationship with and became even more possessive and controlling than I had been prior to my working in the adult entertainment industry. These are just a few of the many experiences I had while working in this industry. The years of healing and the restoration process I had to go through were intense.

I am healed and restored by the miracle working power of Jesus Christ, however the process was very difficult because I had to renew my mind back to its original design and believe God's Word over my experiences, that had produced intense shame and guilt. It's been 11 years since I left the adult entertainment industry. I remember those days with an intense familiarity, yet I have a passion and prayer in my heart for those women still trapped in that industry, no matter what area, be it a club, adult films, or pornography, that they find their true worth in value in Jesus, rather than in what this world may offer them. I do have a purpose in Christ, and I am here for just this time, to help others discover their freedom and walk in their full potential. Life is meaningful, and once you begin to walk in the purpose for which God has ordained you, you will experience real prosperity.