RE-EVALUATING THE PAST

No, O Israel, the Lord has already told you what is good, and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. - Micah 6:8 (NLT).
God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. - Matthew 5:7 (NLT)
At some point, we must get beyond the injustice of our situation and move toward extending mercy. This is a tough assignment. The more deeply we feel our own hurt, the harder it is to have mercy on the person who hurt us. Its difficulty, however, does not diminish its necessity. God makes it clear that if we want to receive mercy, we must be willing to extend it to others. This process begins with understanding.

Oftentimes emotionally wounded individuals do not understand the cruelty imposed on them by people in their past. We tend to place motives on people they may not have had. We fail to take into account that their actions may have been the result of their own emotional hurts. By examining the lift of the person who hurt you, it will help bring their actions into a proper perspective.

In our emotional pain, we tend to reduce a whole relationship to a few negative incidents. It is helpful to deliberately re-examine your relationship in its entirety. In what ways has this person made positive contributions in your life? What have you learned from this person by both positive and negative example?

It is also helpful to understand that this person has also been the recipient of emotional pain in his or her own life. To what extent could this person's hurtful actions towards you have been a secondary reaction to his or her own emotional pain? How much do you know of this person's personal history outside of your own interactions with him or her?

You may have had no desire to open yourself up to this level of understanding. It is essential that you do, however, if you expect others to extend to you the same understanding. Relatives and close friends of this person are always good sources of information. The more thorough you are in your research, the easier it will be to free yourself from the negative effects of this relationship.

**Taken From "Healing Past Emotional Hurts" - By Tammy Sevison and Lon Garber. Copyright 1998 by Snowbabies, Inc. Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from "The Message." Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.